Fears of one’s own reflection
Sometimes we shut the door on loving people because it burdens our comfort zone, because we are triggered and something stings emotionally, wants to be healed, but we don’t understand it or don’t want to because there are other things going on at the moment. So we say no and close the door, certainly often the easiest way to deal with it.
I know this because I experience it myself in the same way. In one direction much more often: Who doesn’t trust me (yet), may rarely be near me. I must be constantly triggering something with them. Unprocessed stories that seek healing but shy away from further hurt and therefore don’t want to open up by a crack?
By the way, triggering happens very rarely with my friends. Only those who approach me with skepticism and caution are shown the mirrors of themselves in me.